i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm at about main and main street
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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