she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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