i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
