yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
