I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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