I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
