I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize