direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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