What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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