he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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