no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
