I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
