i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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