he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize