can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
