If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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