Pappa wants mamma naked
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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