Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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