in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
