I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
