Porn is love you can see.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
