good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
