youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize