just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
