yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
