sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she smelled like a LAN party
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
