I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
