Quick, to the slutcave!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
These tits shall not be calmed
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
