White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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