im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Your penis caused this!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
