doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
