Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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