He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I want to be your penis for a week.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
