I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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