How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you had me at cake vodka
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
