forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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