Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
