why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
