If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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