just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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