We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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