Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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