Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
