your thong is hanging out like whoa
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
