My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
