I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
