never play flip cup with pint glasses
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
