Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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