I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
