fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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