his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
