Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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