we're chasing vodka with high fives
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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