There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
