What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
