last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
