I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
