it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
