My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
