Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize