Did you just see the Batmobile???
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
