I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
