I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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