Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
