I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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